Parenting

Life seems to be hard lately. I’m emotional, irritable, and tired. It doesn’t matter how much sleep I get I still feel this way. I’m back to forcing myself to sleep, well forcing myself to do most things, but the good part is that I’m doing them.

I feel like so many moms, with or without mental health problems, feel as though they are failing because they have to push them selves to do things that seem to come naturally to others. We push ourselves out of bed, to make meals, to clean, to parent, to be a spouce, and all while trying to keep ourselves sane. But we do it. Yet here comes social media and society telling us we are horrible for having to push ourselves or make ourselves do these things. FUCK YOU! That’s what I have to say to them. Fuck you for making us feel bad, fuck you for trying to sabotage us! Don’t you think life is hard enough, don’t you think we are just as frustrated as you? We are trying, no wait, WE ARE DOING IT! It shouldn’t matter if we have to push our selves or make our selves, we are doing it period.

Parents seem to get the shit end of the stick. No matter what we do we are doing something wrong. Become a stay at home parent, you’re not financially supporting your child. Become a working parent, now you’re missing out on your child’s life. Nursing, that’s disgusting. Bottle feed, breast is best. Have a child naturally, that screws up your vag. Have a csection, you’re taking the easy way out.

So many things come down to what society thinks. Its shaping us and in turn shaping our children. It’s scary for me to think of my children as adults. I cringe at the thought of having teens.

At one point or another,as a parent, you’re going to think that you’re failing. You’re going to think that nothing you do is good enough. But let me ask you this….is your child happy? Are they healthy? Are they safe? If you answered yes to these questions, then you’re an awesome parent!

Let’s stop letting “society” make us feel bad, because guess what? We are a society of our own! Let’s make our society into the one who is understanding and patient. Let’s be kind and helpful. Let’s show the rest of the world that OUR society is the society the world needs.

A little story from a few weeks ago….so I’m in Walmart with all 4 of the kids. We had been out most of the day and were all tired and cranky. The kids weren’t listening, they were grabbing everything in site, and running off. Walmart was packed and my anxiety was in high gear.

So we are walking through Walmart and cain is riding on the side of the cart. At this point I have told him several times not to do this, and have finally come to the “fuck it, natural consequences” stage of my trip. So he, without saying anything, decides to step down as I’m pushing the cart. The cart hits the back of his foot and he falls down under the cart. Now I feel the cart hit his shoe and stop. There was a lady walking in the opposite direction who says stop the baby. First of all I’m already pissed so my first thought is ” hes almost 4 hes not a baby.” Then goes to “let’s pull him up out from under the cart and discipline him” so as I’m trying to help him get out from under the shopping cart, a little rougher than intended, this lady goes “omg! Ouch! Poor baby!” Oh man that set me off “hes not a baby!” I was irate. I took a deep breath told him to hold the cart and headed for the check out. Once at the check out I started to breath and calmed myself down a bit, which in turn calmed my children down a bit too. Well I have all my stuff on the counter and ella is in the cart, damien and scarlett are playing at the end of the cart, but where is cain? Next thing I know the lady behind me has a hold of him and is saying ” no you have to stay with your mom” through the whole process she was right behind me setting a road block so that the kids couldn’t run back through the isle. And as I’m getting ready to leave she says ” I know its rough going shopping with so many kids” I thanked her and left feeling so much better.

Moral of the story: be like the second lady. Be firm but kind. Don’t make a mother feel like she is being cruel or over reacting. You don’t know what her day was like. We all have bad days, kids, adults, everyone. Be the helper not the hurter!

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