Stop telling people with depression to get over themselves…..you are killing us.

I wish I knew what it was like to not have depression. What it is like to wake up and not have to drag yourself out of bed. Is this even a real thing?

Are there people out there that just get up and take on the world without a single struggle? What is it like to not long for nap time because you’re not exhausted for no apparent reason?

I’m constantly struggling with my mind. It never seems to end. I really want to go out and be social but when the time comes I cancel because I just can’t handle it. Are there people out there that love going out and never cancel their plans just because they can’t seem to get out of their own minds?

What is it like for you to not have to try and explain your illness to your children. Over and over I say I’m not feeling well, and my kids ask the same line of questions. Does your tummy hurt? Do you have a fever? I give in most days and say yes because it’s easier to explain. It must be amazing to go out and not have your children tell people you take medicine because you are sick, and not have to try to explain this to people.

Depression has become such a significant role in my life I almost forget there are actually people out there that don’t have it.

These people will tell you it’s not real, it’s all in your head. They will tell you to just tell yourself you are going to be happy today. It never fails. Whenever someone finds out you have depression they act as if you are a hypochondriac. They think you are looking for attention.

If you have depression you know attention is the last thing you want. You just want to be left alone in your bed with the lights off.

If you don’t understand depression, look it up before you make comments to someone who does. Telling people to just get over themselves, or it’s not that bad, or just tell your self to be happy is killing us. We start to think there is something wrong with us. We think we are annoying and should just stay away from people, which actually makes the depression worse. We aren’t good enough, loved enough, or likeable so why go on. It’s a vicious cycle but it is real.

It’s not something we can control. It is literally a chemical imbalance in our brain. Depression is as real as cancer and sometimes as hard to treat.

When you have depression it’s not always sadness. I think that is the biggest misconception people have about depression. That is why so many people commit suicide and their friends and family had no idea that they had gotten to that point. It becomes easy to hide when you have felt with it for so long.

People also make it hard for us to get help. We don’t want to see a therapist or get put on meds for fear we will be ridiculed. So many people protest against body shaming, or shaming mom’s who breast feed in public, but no one ever stands up for people who have depression. STOP SHAMING US FOR SOMETHING WE HAVE NO CONTROL OVER!

We sit at home and wither away because it’s more socially acceptable than to seek help. Then people wonder why we don’t do things or why life always seems harder for us.

For everyone who doesn’t know symptoms of depression here is how it feels for me, and I’m sure many others like me.

Pleading with yourself to get out of bed, and once you do pleading with yourself to stay out of bed. If it wasn’t for my kids this wouldn’t work.

Being overly emotional. Not just sadness. Crying over even the smallest thing, both good and bad. Crying out of nowhere and not knowing why.

Feeling like you are treading through mud just to get simple chores done.

Becoming frustrated extremely easily. The other day I got frustrated and started crying because I couldn’t find my kids shoes.

Not wanting to be touched. This one gets my husband. I’m sure he feels like I don’t love or want him when I get this way but in reality it’s just the depression. Some days being touched even in the simplest ways physically hurts.

Wanting to be left alone. Like I said earlier I Like to lay in my bed with the lights off by myself. This one is the hardest one for me to get through.

Wanting friends but not wanting to socialize. I long for someone to come over and just sit and talk with me but if it were to happen I would be struggling the whole time praying they go home soon. This happens especially if the conversation dies.

Irritability. Every last thing drives you crazy from how someone drives to someone not putting the dishes away right.

Helplessness. Feeling like you can’t do anything so why bother.

Hopelessness. Not feeling hopeful at all. Not getting your hopes up for anything because you just know you will be let down anyway.

Worthlessness. Never good enough. Sometimes this one sneaks up on you. One comment can bring this one straight down on top of you.

These are a few. Everyone is different and may feel differently than this. If someone you know is having a bad day just tell them they are doing great. Or, spend a little time with them. Something small goes a long way. You never know how people are feeling.

3 thoughts on “Stop telling people with depression to get over themselves…..you are killing us.

  1. Hey! I am glad that i used wordpress today. This must have been so hard for you. I know because everything you wrote makes sense. I have been feeling the same since 1 year now and i haven’t really talked to anyone about this. I

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  2. I tell my mom that i feel worthless many times but she thinks this is all due to my career related stress. I do have that stress but, somewhere i know it’s more than that because i see people who are not really successful but are still happy. I wonder why i can’t be normal like them. It kills me from inside when i go out and don’t feel good about myself and the strange thing is it’s with the same old friends with whom i’ve had the best time of my life. Like today, i went with 2 friends to have lunch and all the time they were laughing and having fun and they were asking why are you so quite? And i don’t know i wasn’t there i never am , no matter how much i try i wasn’t happy. All the time i thought that i need to go home as soon as possible. And then i came home i couldn’t stop thinking about not being good enough. Even the slightest friendly taunt makes me so angry and conscious about myself. I start to feel that i am not funny enough, not pretty enough, not cool enough and not successful enough and many things which i can’t explain. And i don’t know what to do about it. I think no one understands and i don’t know how to explain even.

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