Motherhood

What really makes a mom? Having a baby? Sure that makes you a mother but does it really make you a mom? I know so many women who have kids yet they seem so into themselves I think sometimes they forget they have kids. Then I know other women who have kids who would literally give their life for their kids.
My kids drive me absolutely nuts on a daily basis. By 6pm I’m done and am so looking forward to bed time. I think many other mom’s can agree. On days I have appointments that I can’t take my kids with I long the whole week to have that time for myself yet when I leave them at the sitter I long to be back with them.
So I do think that physically having a kid makes you a mother but being present in their existence makes you a mom.

*****

About a month ago I was outside with my 4 little gremlins. They were playing and my neighbor drives past. Scarlett asks who that was. I told her his name and in response she says”I LOVE *****! You know I played in his playhouse.” My blood boiled, my heart raced, I swear you could see steam rolling from my head, like in a cartoon. What play house? Why is a 70 year old man inviting my daughter to come play in it? What did they do? When did this happen?
Questions started rolling out of my mouth before I even realized I was asking them. Here is what had me reaching for that metal baseball bat my kids had lying in the yard….
Me: ok. Watch your sister while I call dad.
Scarlett: NO NO NO!
Me: what?
Scarlett: you weren’t supposed to know.

What in the actual fuck!
I had that bat in hand as I was calling Michael. Being a mother I feel like I would have looked the other way, but being mommy to these sweet innocent children I was ready to kill for her.

******

Sure life is difficult, and maybe more so for me sometimes.  I have to constantly ask if I’m being paranoid or if something is actually going on.  But when it comes to my children I would do anything for them.  No matter how hard it is for me I will always stand by them.  Even if anxiety is there trying to push me away, or depression keeps trying to throw me back into bed.  I will forever be their rock.

I think as mom’s that is our job, our responsibility, to stand up for our children.  Especially when they don’t know how.  Whether it’s a pedophile or the bully on the playground, we defend our own.

No mom is perfect.  We all have our flaws but we all are doing our best to be a great mom to our kids, sometimes the only way we know how.  Other people will always criticize you for making any kind of decision for your family.  But the only people who’s opinions matter are your kids.

Some days, usually more often than not, I feel defeated.  I see all these mom’s on facebook And Pinterest doing all these fun things with their kids and having a spotless house.  I beat myself up for it because I’m like I got a load if dishes done today.  Then you have those amazing moments with your kid, they don’t come often but they do come.  Today for example, Damien brings me the last piece of pizza and Cain really wants it so I gave it to him.  He then looks up at me and says “thanks mom.  You gave me the last piece.  You’re a good mom.”  My day turned around in that minute.

So be a mom.  Enjoy your kids.  Hide in the pantry for 10 minutes if you need to. Crying is not a sign of weekness.

 

Mothers who have messy houses have the happiest kids!

 

 

 

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